3 tips for grandmothers who don't make stupid mistakes
Not every woman has the prospect of becoming a grandmother. Some do not want to recognize the factor of their aging, others fear the lack of experience of being a grandmother.
On this occasion, in some cities even special courses are held where women are taught knitting on knitting needles, baking pancakes, building relationships with children and grandchildren, as well as accepting a new role for themselves.
If there is no time to attend courses of this kind, but there is a desire to become an ideal grandmother, it is enough to learn three basic lessons.
The first step that needs to be mastered is not only loving your grandchildren, but also respecting your children. That is, you need to learn to reckon with their opinion. Moreover, the decision to have a child is taken by adult children, who then bear personal responsibility for the baby.
Of course, young parents need help and support, but it needs to be issued in batches.
Many grandmothers run ahead of the locomotive, making decisions instead of mom and dad that it would be better for the child. No one questions the experience of an adult woman, but the annoyance will only annoy children. Therefore, the best solution will be help only when asked about it.
Mastering new responsibilities
All grandmothers have one task – to please their grandchildren. Therefore, grannies bake pancakes, pancakes and pies with such zeal, walk with the children and read them bedtime stories. All children love to be pampered, but this should not cross certain boundaries.
In the modern world, the ideal grandmother should not only be able to bake delicious pancakes for her grandchildren, but also to master several new responsibilities:
1. To be a friend, because children love those with whom they are interested in spending time. This is especially true of preschoolers and schoolchildren. Who, if not the grandmother, can be a great ally in the game, ride a swing, pick cones in the park or make something funny?
2. Grandmas do not hurt to be a little modern. After all, more adult grandchildren want to have an active and cheerful grandmother next to her, who is aware of all the events and, preferably, follows fashion. Such a granny is not a sin to boast to her peers.
3. Grandma is a good adviser. It often happens that parents do not have free time, which grandmothers most often have. In this case, it is she who can become an adviser in the first love affairs, can help solve problems that are not told to mom and dad, etc. The main task is not so much to help (grandmothers are not omnipotent too) how to listen, support and not to criticize.
Must, but not obliged!
It also happens when pregnancy is unplanned, especially if it occurs at the age of 15-16. Then the financial burden of providing unattractive parents falls on the shoulders of grandmothers. In this case, it is important to understand that the grandmother should help, but is not obliged, so you should not allow the entire burden of responsibility to fall on her shoulders.
And lack of money, and the lack of other help, even useful for children. This is a good school of life that leads the young to independence: planning a family budget, finding additional income, revising life priorities, etc.
Grandma, don't make a mistake
Now it is worth considering the most common mistakes not only of newly minted, but also of more experienced grandmothers:
1. Since the grandmothers raised their children taking into account all the charms of the Soviet period, it is not always now that high-tech help is used in the belief that they will harm the baby. As a result, there is a struggle for the right to exist, in which diapers, car seats, children's air conditioners, and so on, make life easier for young parents.
2. The eternal problem of many families is the rivalry of grandmothers for the attention of grandchildren. And this, in turn, will certainly lead to discord in the family, where the child will suffer from feelings of guilt in front of one of the grandmothers.
3. Destruction of parental authority. Unfortunately, many grannies forget that parents should bring up the child, and the role of grandmothers is secondary and auxiliary. If a young family makes mistakes, criticizing their decisions in the presence of a child is unforgivable!
Of course, it is better not to criticize at all, since indignation will cause nothing but misunderstanding and resistance. This may include the fact that many grandmothers secretly from their parents allow children to do what they are forbidden. Firstly, it undermines parental authority, and secondly, children will quickly understand who can be manipulated.
4. Forget yourself – go into the family. You should not change your lifestyle just to devote the rest of the days to the grandchildren. Spending time with them is necessary, but you should not forget about yourself, your life, hobbies and work.
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