Conflict-free discipline




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Many parents make a classic mistake in upbringing, constantly telling the children that this is not possible for them, and this is also impossible and, in general, almost everything is impossible. As a result, the child becomes jerky, nervous and afraid to try something new. But there is another type of parent who allows his child to do whatever he wants. This, of course, also does not lead to anything good, since the child becomes spoiled and egocentric and, as a result, inadequately responds to prohibitions and criticism. In this case, only the golden mean between prohibitions and permissiveness is good.

In the life of every child there must be a place for the word "no." Since childhood, he must understand that some things can not be done. But it is necessary to explain to him without shouting and pressure, because in early childhood a child does bad deeds not because he wants to annoy you, but simply because he does not understand that this is bad. So the primary task of the parents is to explain to the child what is bad and why it is impossible to do this (for example, to offend their peers, not to obey, be capricious, etc.).

Also very important point is the explanation of the reasons for prohibitions. Most parents simply tell the child that they cannot do this without bothering themselves to explain the reason why they forbid something. But this aspect is very important in education. If you do not explain to the child the reasons why you cannot perform this or that action, but simply punish him immediately, then this will cause a strong aggression on the part of the child. He may not understand what he is being scolded for and punished for, resentment begins to accumulate in him and the desire to do everything in spite of you, the child may begin to think that he is not loved, just because he is being bullied. If you begin to explain to the child why it is impossible to do this, or for what reason he is now punished, he will not consider this to be unfair. Also, it will mean that you respect your child as an equal and consider it important to explain to him the reasons for the committed action, which will subsequently cause a response

And another very effective way is to give your child the opportunity to feel the consequences of what he has done. Very often, explanations alone, why this cannot be so insufficient, the child is still not aware. Then you need to put him in the same situation that he created and then he will understand that it is unpleasant and you should not do so. Or give to feel the consequences of his actions. For example, if a child broke a window in his room, do not scold him, but do not rush to immediately insert a new one, let him stay one evening with a broken window and realize that it’s cold and uncomfortable, and then the next time he will think before so do. And when parents put the window, he will treat this not as a given, but with gratitude, which is very important when raising.



Chief editor of the blogFelix.

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