Conflicts between children in the family: how to solve?
Mother and father, raising their children, face such a problem as quarrels between younger members of the family.
For example, a “joking” son jerks his sister by the pigtails or picks up her favorite doll, and the girl cries or aggravates in response.
In this example, psychologists identify three main reasons why brothers and sisters often conflict.
1. Competition for the attention of mom and dad
As a rule, when a second baby is born, almost all adult love goes to him. The older child, not realizing that the little one needs to be given more care, arranges tantrums. Similar actions he tries to attract the attention of parents.
2. The war for the place of pet in the family
For some reason, the firstborn believes that he has the right to "special privileges." He humiliates the youngest member of the family, proves his superiority over him. And that, in turn, is aggressive, because I feel psychological pressure.
3. "This is mine!"
One of the clearest reasons for disagreement between brothers and sisters is the struggle for their favorite toys and things. Most children claim that these items are their property, which no one can take. It is on this basis that they often conflict.
But the question ripens. What should parents do? What to do in such situations?
First, do not get into a quarrel. Keep a neutral position until you realize that emotions are heating up.
If you notice that the conflict goes beyond a safe framework, you should do the following: calm the children.
Secondly, talk with each child separately, clarify the situation with him. Sometimes you need your parents to take his hurt feelings. Prove that you are ready to listen.
Ask everyone to tell what happened. Briefly tell the whole story, if you do not understand something, ask to explain. After the conversation, ask one correct question: “How would you solve this problem?”
After the parents understand the point of view of each storyteller, offer to play this game. The rules are very simple: do not interrupt, listen to the other to the end, only a calm voice permits. Let them learn to prove their point of view and sometimes make concessions.
Since this option does not bring any results, then show and open a different point of view to your children. Often children consider that they are treated unfairly.
Therefore, they do not understand what others may feel. You can start like this: “I think you should look at the situation from the other side. How do you think your brother feels? ”
When the problem is already solved, tell each of your children that you love him or her.
Raising children is, above all, working on oneself. If it is difficult for the father or the mother to control emotions and actions, then how can they expect from the child a rational approach to the conflict. Show the children how to behave in conflict situations.