History of teenage depression

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In Israel, that’s just what we do. I’ve had depression ever since I was a kid. At some points in my life, it’s been so bad that going from one day to the next felt like trying to run through quicksand. During these times, it felt pointless to do anything.

It didn’t help that I was an atheist who believed that life had no meaning other than the here and now. You are a little tiny speck in this vast universe and it didn’t matter very much whether you lived or died. All you have is the present, so you better live it up before you’re dead. Faced with this stark truth, I spent many hours of my teenage years in bed, not wanting to get up and face the world. I’d sit around and watch sad movies that often revolved around characters being so deeply depressed that they wanted to take their own lives, like Girl, Interrupted and The Virgin Suicides. I wasn’t suicidal but I identified with these characters because I felt apathetic towards life. Throughout my college years, my depression got worse as I felt the crushing weight of adulthood settling in.

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