Life with children from past marriages: what are the difficulties and how they are solved
When the marriage collapses, it is a strong blow for both partners, because it creates a clear impression that life will not be the same and it will only get worse. But, as practice shows, most fears have nothing to do with reality.
But real problems arise if children remain from marriage. Children will have to live on, but how to build new relationships? Women face many problems, and yet they don’t even understand how they can be solved.
"Cult of the child"
The article should begin with the fact that in the modern world a "cult of the child" has formed, when parents must do everything for his upbringing and well-being.
For example, most parents can abandon the charms of life with only one goal – that their child was happy. But, this is a key mistake, because the only thing parents can do right is to live happily with their new partner.
If you start to infringe on your own feelings and feelings of a partner, then only serious difficulties will arise that will be difficult to solve. The child is not the main in any respects. And even if you try to adapt to it, nothing good will come of it.
The reason is simple – children are essentially selfish, so they will not remember any good. And when they grow up, they will say: "I had a terrible childhood." And this is quite normal, because you can’t live only for the sake of the child. The child must live in a happy family where respect and full understanding prevails.
What can not be done
When starting a new relationship, women first of all think about their child. This is the right decision, because he must be safe. However, if your new partner is reliable, successful and loves you, is there any reason to worry? There are a few things that should never be done:
1) Dad is always alone in a child! In no case should you force your child to call his new partner "dad." What if he leaves in a few years? This is a serious blow to the psyche of any child. It is acceptable if the child himself begins to call the new partner dad.
2) Both should be engaged in upbringing. Many women think that their partners have no right to educate. If you need a full-fledged family, where there will be respect between all members, is there any other way?
3) It is necessary to preserve the interests of the child, it is important to remember only that he will be happy only in a complete family, where peace and respect reign.
4) It is impossible to fulfill all the requirements of your child, otherwise he will grow up a real egoist.
How to solve difficulties
Difficulties during the upbringing of the child will arise in any case, and every person should learn this moment. But it is important to understand that all problems and quarrels (and they will definitely be) must be solved in a dialogue. Most often, conflicts arise in a child with a new partner.
Why not sit down at the negotiating table and discuss everything in detail? Most of the children are smart and they perfectly understand everything that is happening.
Therefore, all problems can only be resolved in a dialogue after lengthy discussions.