Parents cry too: why is it good for children to see tears
Many parents try to hold back their tears with children in order not to show their anxiety or frustration. The act is quite normal, because the parent is trying to protect his child and show that in reality everything is fine. But is it worth hiding tears from your child?
This is the question that many psychologists have asked in recent years, having come to an unusual conclusion. As it turned out, crying with your child is not harmful, and in many situations it is even beneficial.
Why is it important to show your emotions
Hiding the real emotions from their child, each parent creates a picture of the “false world” without even realizing it.
For example, throughout childhood, a child may feel that only he has emotions, and other people do not have them. However, as practice shows, when a child enters the adult world, he will experience the first disappointments.
But the fact is that if he has never seen tears or disorders of his parents, then all these emotions will undoubtedly manifest. You also need to show your attitude to certain events. For example, if grief came to the family and one of the relatives died, you should not hide your emotions.
Show the child that at a certain point in time is not only difficult for him – it is necessary. By hiding the negative, you can bring up a frank egoist or a narcissist who will have a false opinion about many things that happen around him.
Need to explain what's really going on.
Many people think: children may get scared – yes, that is right. But why not explain to him what really happened? And tears are just experiences and soon they will pass, the main thing is to slow down a little emotions and wait.
The main task of parents is to explain the whole situation and make it clear that nothing terrible happens and everything will be fine after that. As practice shows, many children in this case try to carefully treat their parents and even try to show their desire to stop the tears, soothing them.
When tears can go to harm
So there is nothing bad in tears. But, do they all arise due to an adequate situation? There are several cases where tears will only harm:
1) Quarrel between parents.
2) Scandals motivated by jealousy of the spouses.
3) Tears due to moods and in other situations.
The child must understand that if he sees tears from his parents, then something bad has happened, but soon the situation will change. But the constant tears and tantrums only go to the detriment of his psyche, and here you already need to be able to hide your real emotions and experiences.
How not to scare a child
Too strong emotions and a storm of experiences will only be detrimental. It is important to show your experiences, but do it carefully.
And if a child came to the aid of his parents, trying to somehow calm them down, it is important not to frighten him. It is best to immediately slow down emotions and say "thank you" to him, explaining in the process everything that happens.
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