Sassy jokes

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What do sassy jokes think of Steve Ballmer? What do you think of Satya Nadella? What do you think of Surface?

What do you think of Microsoft Office? What do you think about Google? What do you think of Android? Who’s better, Google Now or Cortana?

What do you think of Apple? What do you think of Siri? Which is better, Siri or Cortana? May the force be with you. Why did the chicken cross the road?

What have you been up to? Cortana spits out funny responses on topics ranging from Siri to Surface to Steve Ballmer. She makes jokes and explains her Halo-inspired lineage. Here are 59 of the funniest answers we’ve found while goofing around. Screenshots were taken from Windows Phone 8. 1, rather than Windows 10, hence the stark interface. For maximum enjoyment, read the question on the bottom first, then Cortana’s answer on the top.

And if you discover any questions we missed, please drop them in the comments! First things first: Here’s how Cortana identifies herself. Interestingly, while Cortana doesn’t know her creator, she definitely know who her daddy is—at least technically. For more fun, ask what she thinks of him, or whether she has a mother, sister, brother, or baby. I know new Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella digs machine learning, but this seems a bit much, Cortana.