28.06.2018

Teenage society problems

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Cracked only offers comment voting to subscribing members. If you’re already an awesome Cracked subscriber, click here to login. If we’ve ever made you laugh or think, we now have a way where you can thank and support us! Sex ed classes are awkward and terrible for everyone, but all of that cringing is just the price we pay for the one chance to learn the crucial basics of sex. When you’re gay, all of your high school sex ed classes are just an awkward set of anatomical IKEA instructions. So while your classmates are all cracking jokes, you sink into your seat wondering what to do if your tab prefers a completely different set of slots, because while they get graphs and careful explanations, you’re stuck trying to figure out the specific act that goes along with the slang phrases you’ve picked up, like “butt sex” and “carpet munching.

Break out the coriander, we’re gonna get freaky tonight! When I figured out my sexuality, I obviously wanted to go off and explore things, and by things I mean the crotches of other women. But while my cousins had access to The Joy of Sex and its impressive array of 1970s pubic-hair sculpting, all I had was some vague understanding about objects going into holes and a surprisingly helpful monotype-font guide from 1995. In other words, most of my lesbian sexual knowledge had to be reverse-engineered from heterosexual sex, or acquired from firsthand “research” in the field.