The child is cheating: what should parents do
Often parents are faced with the deception of a child.
However, this problem can become a habit. Therefore, the task of adults is to help children.
Why is the child cheating? 9 reasons
1. Strict education. For example, broke an expensive toy. The child is afraid of punishment. Put in a corner, do not let out the street, do not buy candy.
2. Fear of losing love.
Often parents are threatened. If you behave badly – we will not love.
3. Desire not to upset.
The child did something wrong. Love for parents pushes the path of lies. Knows how mom will react. Her heart aches, the pressure rises. For the sake of health composing fables.
4. Insufficient attention.
Family is dysfunctional. The child wants others to respect their parents. He is ashamed of them. Therefore praises the quality. Tells how he is loved, taken care of. It embellishes reality. Lies trying to realize fantasies about the welfare of the family.
5. Let off steam.
Adults call the child, shout at him, even beat him.
6. Inflated claims.
Children tend to meet the high demands of their parents. Study well, achieve success in sports.
Do not take into account the ability. Not every child can learn only “good” and “excellent”, to become an outstanding athlete.
7. It will not be better.
Parents do not praise deception confession. Blame that at first was not true. The child decides – it makes no sense to confess. Scold will still.
Shout at him. He thinks: “They are angry, they have learned the truth.” Will come to the conclusion – it must be hidden.
8. A child dreams.
Children tend to fantasize. This indicates the presence of figurative thinking. The way to cope with the experiences. For example, the loss of a pet. Does not want to believe. He says that the cat ran into the forest and lives there.
9. The vicious circle. The more often the child is scolded, the more it will tell a lie.
1. You can not punish the child. He will become a sophisticated lie.
2. Do not overstate the requirements.
3. Teach to cope with failures.
4. Criticize not a child, but an act.
5. Do not give labels – "you – a cheater", "liar". The child will believe this and continue to lie.
6. You can not blame the presence of strangers. Arrange noisy disassembly. It degrades the dignity of the child. Complicate the relationship. It is better to talk in private. Tell about the consequences. A lie always "goes outside." About feelings when deception is revealed. It is unpleasant to communicate with a liar.
7. Speak in a comfortable tone. Ask to tell the event again. Detect inaccuracies. In a conversation, find out the truth.
You can, for example, start a conversation with the words: "I know that you broke a vase." The child will understand the safety of the conversation. Mom's tone is calm. She does not swear. It is only necessary to explain how this happened.
8. Develop cooperation rules: to walk, when lessons are done, to be at home no later than eight in the evening, to call twice a day.
9. Talk without charge. Offer conditions. Example: “Let's agree. Do not be afraid to talk about wrong actions. I will try not to get angry. I will rejoice in the truth. ” His promise must be fulfilled in any case.
10. Mark the sincerity of the child, praise for honesty.
Approximate conversation scheme
The reason for cheating are unfolded trusting relationships. To make them sincere, it is proposed to adhere to the following scheme.
Conversation lead looking into the eyes. The child must see the expression on his face. Say what you know about lies. Ask for an admission error. Convince that you will not scold. You will still love.
The child will trust and tell the truth.
Discuss the situation together. Explain the wrong action.
End the conversation with a reassurance of love. The child must be confident in the help of parents.
Trust relationships will be established. He will feel caring. Will not be afraid of punishment. Confidence in support will appear. Will tell the truth.