What parents and grandparents should not tell their children
Parents, sometimes saying something to their children, do not appreciate the fact that the child perceives these words differently. Sometimes adults, as it seems to them, in their own words have a positive effect on the upbringing of their child, but if these words are not psychologically adapted for the child’s perception, then the harm from them will be much more than good.
Parents rarely think about how their small child with his increased impressionability, primarily associated with the infinite trust in them, will perceive what has been said, and whether he will not react painfully to their words.
For example, when adults intimidate a child by saying that if he does not wash his hands, microbes appear inside his body, then they do not want anything bad. Parents are well aware of what microbes are and therefore this explanation is absolutely normal for them. Saying this to the baby, they do not take into account the fact that the child gives all the visual images and any manifestations, because he still does not fully understand what it is.
It is because of this rich children's imagination immediately draws monsters that torment him from the inside. If the child immediately shares these experiences with his parents, they will calm him down and preserve his psychological health.
In the same case, if the child carries all this in himself, his psychological and mental health begins to suffer, and the parents cannot understand what the matter is. That is why, when speaking with your baby, adults should weigh every word and explain in great detail to the child or replace with words that are familiar and understandable to him.
So, parents, telling a small child that they need to wash their hands, it is better to tell him not about microbes, but about the fact that if he is dirty, he will get sick and will not be able to walk with friends. The child should not be afraid of the consequences of failure to perform any actions, and understand why they are needed, only in this way he will get used to abide by them.
Another mistake of parents in building communication with their young children is such a terrible phrase for the baby: “I don't love you, I don't need you like that”. Parents do not put into it the meaning that the child, and therefore they do not even understand what psychological trauma they are causing.
The thing is that until a certain age, the whole worldview of a child, the whole purpose of his life, comes down to the parents' love for him. For him, this is the basic concept in life, and when he hears such a statement, his whole world begins to crumble. After all, he still does not understand that his parents said this simply for educational purposes.
The child perceives their words as truth and a catastrophe. He loses the purpose of his life. Parents need to remember that only when they let their baby understand that they love him simply for what he is, can they easily agree with him about everything.
Also badly affect the psychological health of the child and the statements of his loved ones that he is flustered, dirty and that he is just a bad child. By saying this to a child, parents, as a rule, thus try, as it seems to them, to better explain to the child what they want from him; but he takes it all very differently.
Having heard such words from people whom he trusts, the child realizes only one thing: he is forever bad and nothing can be changed. Such words from parents, especially from mother, sound like a verdict for him.
Parents who want to correct this or that quality of their child should not call the child hurtful words and pass judgment on him, but calmly, patiently and very clearly explain what they want from him.
Sometimes even things that seem obvious to adults need to be explained to the child, but parents need to remember what they say from a very young child who is just beginning to understand life and needs their precise guidance.