When children start to be shy parents & nbsp
Situations when children are shy of their parents are very common. I think many people know this feeling of awkwardness, and maybe even shame, when your mother, meeting you from school, smacked her cheek in front of the whole class. I wanted to fall through the earth and quickly hide from the smirks of classmates.
At what age does the restraint arise?
Most often this problem occurs in adolescence, when the opinion of peers becomes paramount for a child. The teenager wants to look and feel independent, independent, and this need is associated with separation from parents. How can you be "cool" if mom constantly asks to report where you are now, did you eat, did you freeze? Such behavior undermines the adolescent's authority, making him, in the company of friends, a “mama's son”.
Psychologists believe that the constraint may appear as early as 4 years old, when the child begins to actively interact with his peers and learn from them what other mothers and fathers are. And of course, there is an involuntary comparison: “Misha's dad often plays with him on the playground, and I spend all my time at work,” “Sasha’s mom makes beautiful toys for her, but mine doesn’t know how. The child begins to understand that the world is not limited only to his family, and that everyone has everything in different ways, and it is quite possible that something will not be arranged for the child in his parents.
What causes embarrassment?
Teenagers are often shy of the fact that parents show tender feelings towards them. When this happens at home, it usually does not cause problems, but if the mom or dad shows his love in the company of the friends of the child, then this is likely to cause discontent.
Some children may be ashamed of their parents' age. Someone is embarrassed that his parents are already elderly and older classmates' parents by 15 years, and someone, on the contrary, feels uncomfortable that his parents are too young.
It happens that parents do not behave the way their children would like. Maybe the child wants to see mentors in their parents, and they behave and dress like teenagers. It becomes especially embarrassing when they begin to talk with the child’s friends in their slang, sometimes using the words that have fallen out of use. And someone, on the contrary, would prefer to find friends in the face of their parents, but those are old-fashioned and cannot understand him.
It is extremely embarrassing when the parents of the child are in one degree or another lumpen. Children do not want to be associated with parents whose behavior is not accepted by society.
Why it happens?
Most often the conflict arises as a result of the collision of generations. No matter how parents try to keep up with the times, they will still be “different” for their children. Children and their parents grew up in different conditions, they had different orientations in life, different values. And this is normal, times change, children are raised differently, under the conditions in which they are now.
What should parents do?
You do not need to blame the child for this, it is best to calmly discuss with him what causes him a sense of shame. He must understand why you are acting this way and not otherwise. Having learned his claims, you should look at yourself and think about what to do with what your child does not like. If you do not need any difficulty to change their habits that cause embarrassment in the child, then you can do it. If you understand that your child has such a view because he has fallen into a certain team, then you may need to think about how to change this environment, perhaps changing the school if this does not harm the child.amp, children, nbsp, parents, shy, start