Why do I need a surrogate mother: a frank story & nbsp
Why use the services of a surrogate mother – sometimes the only right decision for a woman who wants to have children.
The attitude towards surrogacy in society is still ambiguous. For example, in France, Germany, Norway and other European countries, surrogacy is prohibited. In countries where reproductive technology is regulated by law, there are opponents of this method of conception, who claim that surrogate motherhood vulgarizes the institution of marriage and turns a child into a commodity, and a woman into an incubator. However, not everything is so simple, and for some couples to use the services of a surrogate mother is the only way to parental happiness.
Recently, the Popsugar portal, on condition of anonymity, published a column of a woman who told how and under what circumstances she used the services of a surrogate mother.
We are sure that her story will inspire many families to change their lives and give them the opportunity to gain new happiness, so we cannot but share it.
When I got married, I didn’t immediately start thinking about children. For many years I dreamed of seeing the world, and my husband and I plunged into traveling. We traveled to different countries, and I happily noted in my list of states that we managed to visit. And so, after one terrific trip around Amsterdam, Cologne and Brussels, my husband and I decided that we were ready to have children.
I was not worried about pregnancy at all, although the doctors warned me about possible problems due to my age.
In the early stages of pregnancy, I was diagnosed with hyperemesis, a dangerous form of toxicosis, which is accompanied by severe weakness, constant nausea and bouts of vomiting. This disease became known after the pregnancy of Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, whom she suffered, bearing Prince George.
Hyperemesis is a nightmare for expectant mothers. I could not drink or take a shower because of the smell of water that reminded me of the sewer. After a piece of chicken or a couple of sips of lemonade for the next few days, I suffered from bouts of vomiting, swallowing packs of pills that didn't make me feel any better. At the same time, my hormone levels jumped and suicidal tendencies that I had not known before appeared. Once I couldn’t relieve myself for 24 hours and then I realized that it was time for me to go to the hospital.
I lost a child. But she was not going to give up.
A year later, my husband and I found a good doctor and decided to try our luck again. But the situation repeated: we again could not save our baby.
I no longer wanted to go through the circles of hell of a serious illness and risk another miscarriage … Thinking a lot about the situation, we finally decided to take a serious step – to seek help from a surrogate mother.
We enrolled in a medical center, where I had two procedures for collecting eggs, which I had a few. But doctors reassured us that only one egg would be enough for the onset of pregnancy. And thanks to a surrogate mother, our daughter will be born in August, and my husband and I are immensely happy.
People have a hard time deciding on surrogate motherhood. This usually happens after many failed attempts to become pregnant. I wondered for a long time if I wanted children at all, but when I was ready for this, I planned to carry the child myself. I imagined how I would take care of myself: eat organic food, do yoga, take home baths to the sound of birds singing.
A woman is capable of much. But there are things that are beyond our control. In my case it is to bear the child.
It took me a while to put up with it and admit that the other person would handle it better than me. And this does not mean that I will love this child less.
Surrogate motherhood has strengthened our relationship with her husband, our love for the unborn child is growing every day. The family of the surrogate mother is very supportive of us, is interested in the health of the baby, and my photo with my husband flaunts on the refrigerator in their house. Her four daughters are looking forward to meeting with us – we will visit them during the ultrasound at the 20th week of pregnancy.
We share with each other photos of our pets, we tell about events from life – from family troubles to plans for the weekend or holidays.
Our relationship with the surrogate mother and her family does not separate us from our child, quite the opposite: we received invaluable experience, which we never even dreamed of. We know about every magical moment of development of our baby, which I could not experience because of my poor health.
I am sure that our child is surrounded by love and care. For the healthy development of the child is very important the right environment. And now, in one of the most important stages, we are incredibly lucky with this.